The Unofficial Rulebook

Your culture is defined by the worst behavior you are willing to accept from your best performer.

Ask a leader to describe their culture, and you will hear a list of aspirations. They will talk about integrity, excellence, and respect. They believe these words define their team.

But your team does not define your culture by the values hanging on the wall. They define it by the behavior they see you permit every single day. The gap between the values you preach and the actions you tolerate is where your true culture lives.

Here are 2 examples:

The High Performer

The Symptom

You have a brilliant salesperson who consistently shatters their targets but belittles the support staff in the process.

The Diagnosis

Your tolerance screams to the entire organization that you value results more than you value respect. It tells them that the official rules do not apply to star players. Your value of "Respect" has been rendered meaningless by your inaction.

The Prescription

You must intervene. The conversation is not a negotiation. It is a clarification of the standard. You must make it clear that how results are achieved is as important as the results themselves. Brilliant performance is not an excuse for destructive behavior.

Mr/Ms Congeniality

The Symptom

You have a well-liked employee who is a great person but consistently fails to meet the minimum standard of performance.

The Diagnosis

Your inaction is a quiet betrayal of your best people. It tells your high performers that their extra effort is not truly valued because the standard is not applied equally. You are punishing excellence by rewarding mediocrity.

The Prescription

You must address the performance gap. This is not about being unkind. It is about being clear. You must provide the support and resources for them to improve, but you must also uphold the standard of excellence for the health of the entire team.

You do not get the culture you want.

You get the culture you tolerate.

Every time you walk past a behavior that contradicts your stated values, you are creating a new, lower standard for everyone. And every time you celebrate an action that embodies your values, you are reinforcing a higher standard for all.

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REMEMBER

Your culture is defined by the worst behavior you are willing to accept from your best performer.

REFLECT

1. What is one behavior I have tolerated this week that contradicts our stated values?

2. What message did my tolerance send to the rest of the team?

RESPOND

What is the first step I will take this week to close the gap between our stated values and our tolerated behaviors?